December 17, 2009

December 17, 2009
Making a Difference


Welcome to another day in my life. Today is Friday and I hope you are having a great week so far. Sorry I have not written a blog in several days but I have been going through some serious health problems.

Today I would like to talk to you about making a difference. It is very easy for us to get wrapped up in the day to day existence and struggles within our own lives. I know that from personal experience. But very often, we can make a huge impact in the life of others with very little effort.

So I give you the following as an example:

This has been around a lot of times, but always a Good Reminder of what sometimes just being there and listening to others makes a difference, I have had Friends like this and so Grateful for each one of "You", Thanks for being there when I needed You the most.

We all know or knew someone like this!!

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One day, when I was a freshman in high school,

I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.

His name was Kyle.

It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.'

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.

His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him...

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.' They really should get lives.

" He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!' There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.

I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! ' He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends..

When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship..

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. teased him all the time about being a nerd.

He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak

Graduation day, I saw Kyle.

He looked great.

He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.

He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.

He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.

Boy, sometimes I was jealous!

Today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.

' Thanks,' he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began

'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.

Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends.....

I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.

I am going to tell you a story.'

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the first day we met.

He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.

He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home..

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

'Thankfully, I was saved...

My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable..'

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.

Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions..

With one small gesture you can change a person's life.

For better or for worse......

We are all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.

You now have two choices, you can :

1) Pass this on to your friends or

2) Delete it and act like it and act like it didn't touch your heart.

As you can see, I took choice number 1.

'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.'

There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow is a mystery.

Today is a gift.

Show your friends how much you care and repost and tag your friends on this note.

The reason this moved me so much as to share it with all of you is I was once Kyle. In high school I was outed as being gay when attending a small Catholic High school is a bible belt conservative southern town. The second reason is after the death of my first partner from GRID (what HIV was originally called) in '81 and my diagnosis in early '82, I was labeled as "a fag with AIDS" and felt alone after losing my partner. Because of 2 very special persons reaching out and showing me kindness I am here today. One of those people was Michael S. and the other was Marty Delaney both of whom are unfortunately no longer with us.

Wishing you all the best of the holidays and a Happy New Year.



big bear hug,





Daddy Dab and Dab the AIDS Bear