December 29, 2010

December 29, 2010
Strange Questions about HIV

Welcome to another day in my life. Today is Wednesday and we have made it to the middle of another work week. I hope you are having a safe and great week so far. Dab the AIDS Bear and I are on the run with another busy week.

Today I went and got my hair buzzed off at Mark's Haircuts for Men on Wilton Manors Drive. I have been going to Mark since I moved to Wilton Manors and we always have a great time talking during my haircuts. We had an interesting conversation today about the misconceptions people have about HIV and AIDS.

So I thought I would write the blog for today about some of the strangest questions I have ever heard asked about HIV and AIDS. Some are shocking, some are sad, many are hilarious and they are all reminders of how far we still have to go to educate the world about HIV.

Great Ways to Spend Your Lunch Break at Work?

I used the handle of a spoon as a dildo. I forgot to wash the handle before I used it but it did not look dirty. While using it I got a cut around my anus, which bled a little. The spoon was in a kitchen drawer at a busy workplace. I am pretty sure nobody had touched it for at least an hour. Any risk of HIV if somebody with a cut on their hand touched the spoon an hour before I stuck it in my butt?

Making My Own Latte With Extra Foam

During a recent trip to a country with high HIV rates, I had some funny tasting coffee. I spat most of it out, but I started thinking that there might have been semen in the coffee. So I experimented by putting some of my own semen into a cup of water and drinking it. The taste and texture were very similar to the coffee I had abroad, so I concluded that it WAS someone's semen in the coffee. Is there any risk of HIV transmission this way?

Hair Pull on Purse or Dastardly HIV-Transmission Plot?

As I was getting out of my car and putting my purse on my shoulder I felt my hair being pulled, possibly by the chain of my purse strap. It pulled a few strands of my hair, making me feel a sharp pain. However, I can not stop thinking about how maybe someone was right behind me, injecting my head with some HIV positive blood. I am currently involved in a law suit against someone and think it may be that person or someone who knows my fear of HIV and wants to make it come true!

Talk About a Twisted Sister!

Two weeks ago, my evil sister put my ex's urine or vaginal fluid (I am not sure which) on my cat. I unsuspectingly closed lip kissed the cat moments later. Now I have got symptoms! Am I at risk for HIV infection?

When Hosts Forget to Serve Snacks to Their Guests ...

While I was at my friend's house, I licked and smelled a couple of dirty thongs from her clothes hamper. The day after the thong licking I had diarrhea. Could I have gotten HIV or another sexually transmitted disease this way?

See Spot Lick Dick -- See Dick Get Spots?

I caught my son in the bathroom getting his crotch licked by our dog. I have since taken the dog to a family that will take better care of it because I can not trust my son anymore. My son is 15 and has not had sex, other than getting his crotch licked by the dog. I am afraid he will get a sexually transmitted disease or something from the dog. Is this possible?

Revenge of the Mad Cleaner?

I am a frequent masturbator and even have a masturbation dhoti (loincloth), which I have not washed for several months. My place is vacuumed once a week by a cleaner who does not like me. Last week the cleaner tidied my room in my absence. My masturbation dhoti was within sight, and I have reason to believe he masturbated in it. About 24 hours after the cleaner did this act, I put on my dhoti, watched porn and masturbated. Some parts of the dhoti were hard and crusty. Assuming the horned-up cleaner ejaculated into my dhoti and that he is HIV positive, could I have contracted HIV this way?

Yogurt: Low in Fat, Heavy on Semen?

Someone put his semen in my yogurt, and I know that person has sexually transmitted diseases. Can HIV be transmitted this way?

HIV Prevention Tips From a "Cunning Linguist"

I like licking a woman's vagina. I think I have a safe solution that does not require latex or Saran Wrap, which take the joy out of cunnilingus. How about pouring chocolate or strawberry jam over the vaginal area? I've heard HIV is fragile; would these toppings kill HIV, making "lunch at the Y" a virus free affair?

Does HIV Make People Have More Sex So It Can Spread Itself?

I read in a book recently that HIV infection can cause those afflicted to become hypersexual. The author said the virus increased the amount of sex infected people had, so that it could spread to more hosts. Is there any validity in this whatsoever?

I am sure you are probably sitting there either laughing your butt off or shaking your head in disbelief. Just goes to show why we work so hard getting the correct information out to people even though HIV has been around for three decades now.

Until we meet again; here's wishing you health, hope, happiness and just enough.

big bear hug,

Daddy Dab