May 20, 2009

A Poem For Makesha

Another Angel Gets Her Wings

Born into a body you did not ask for
The Gods dealt your sentence,
a sentence you could not endure.
Neither bargained, nor bartered, you were only a child
Just five years old, so meek so mild
Your time has come to grow your wings
You can join in as the Angels sing
Visit the heavens, far, far above
Leaving us with your memory and love
No pain to withstand, nor fears
No sickness, and no more tears
To fly above the skys as an angel child
Another Angel gets her wings and takes flight
Angel Makesha. A darling little child
The newest angel to the heavens.

by Donald Miller

Thanks for stopping by to see what is happening in another blog entry about my life. I hope you are having a great week so far.

It has been raining for three days in Jacksonville now. The skies are almost black. Winds are gusting up to 50 mph moving trash cans and lawn furniture. Several of the roads are now closed due to flooding. In fact, there is only one way Gary can get to his job now. The other two options are both flooded. His office is near downtown and the area always floods during heavy rains.

But somehow the weather today was befitting of my mood. Today we had the service was little Makesha. I was dreading her funeral all day. It was though the angels in heaven were crying and creating the deluge of showers. Their wails the wind. Her poor mother sobbing. Her brother with tears streaming down his little face. It broke my heart and brought back so many memories of when we lost our god child in 89. A parent should never have to bury their child. It is not the natural order.

I must admit I am having a bad case of survivor guilt. A little innocent five year old girl is gone now. She will never attend school. Never turn 16. Never kiss a boy. Go to college. Get married. And here I have lived twenty eight years... it just is not right. And it makes me feel frustrated and angry.

Frustrated because more was not done about HIV prevention in the early years to prevent children being born with HIV. Frustrated because I am not able to reach all the children in the United States if only to be able to make them happy one day a year.

Angry because we have not found a vaccine, much less a cure. How many men, women and children will I hold as they lose their battle with AIDS before it is over. Will it happen in my lifetime?

Will I ever get my dream where like at the end of Longtime Companion, everyone meets together again on a beach. Brad would be there. Makesha and Candace would be there. Lisa, James, Joe, Tina, Andrea, Michael and all the others. Just laughing and having a good time like before AIDS all started.

Well I can dream.

Wishing you health, hope and happiness.

Big bear hug,

Daddy Dab