May 30, 2011

May 30, 2011
South Florida AIDS Activist Dab Garner
Lives With HIV Since Beginning of Epidemic

Welcome to another day in my life. Today is Memorial Day and I hope you are having a safe and great holiday weekend. It has been an incredibly busy one for Dab the AIDS Bear and me.

Yesterday, our latest story about living with HIV for 30 years was one the cover of the Miami Herald. Before I knew it, our website crashed after having over 100,000 people go to the site after the story was republished on websites and broadcasts around the world.

The following is the story as written by Steve Rothaus for the Miami Herald. You can also read online including a video of me speaking about living with HIV at:


Richard “Dab” Garner has lived with HIV since the beginning of the epidemic 30 years ago. He has outlived his best friend, two life partners and a 4 year old foster daughter. Each died of AIDS.

“A lot of us who survived in the ’80s and ’90s had survivors’ guilt. We were not doing anything different from anyone else who had HIV, but they were dying and we were still alive,” said Garner, now 49 and an AIDS activist living in Wilton Manors.

But with new drugs developed in the mid-’90s, more people are living with AIDS. Some, like Garner, have likely survived due to genetic anomalies that give them an extra edge. Others have benefited from HIV suppressant drugs.

HIV destroys a type of white blood cell often called a T cell. Normal T-cell counts often range between 500 and 1,800 per cubic millimeter of blood and anyone with a T-cell count below 200 is considered to have AIDS, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

“At my low point, I went down to four T cells in the summer of ’94,” said Garner, whose count now hovers between 300 and 400. “It is not the greatest in the world, but as long as they stay above 200, I am happy.”

Born to a very large Greek Italian family in Pensacola in 1962, Garner met his first boyfriend, Derek, the summer before his junior year in high school. Garner was a teen fashion model; Derek was a photographer for a shoot. “He was several years older. He thought I was in college when I was still in high school. I did not think to tell him otherwise.”

Garner moved to San Francisco with Derek. “After growing up in a small southern town it was like coming home. You finally found you are not the only person who is gay.”

He and Derek had a monogamous relationship, Garner recalls. “I did not know anything about protected sex then. What I remember of the ’70s, not many people practiced safe sex.”

In February 1981, Garner’s best friend Philip, 25, became ill and developed purple splotches across his body. He was diagnosed with Kaposi’s sarcoma, later associated with AIDS.

Philip suffered extreme weight loss and fever. He was quarantined: “Even the doctors wore protective clothing to prevent them from catching whatever it was.’’

Garner gave his friend a teddy bear to hold “because he could not have someone to hold him.”

Less than three weeks later, Philip was dead. At that time, doctors had seen several similar cases in San Francisco and had known of a few others in New York City. “They knew something was up that it was mainly gay men.”

Two months later, Derek became ill. Doctors said Derek had “GRID — gay-related immune deficiency,” Garner said. “The first article I remember seeing was later that year, in ’81 or ’82, in The Village Voice in New York City, that this was affecting gay men, but they did not know what caused it.”

Garner kept a vigil at the hospital, and gave Derek a teddy bear to hold onto. “I could see him and he could see me from the other side of a window. I literally stood by that window for 11 days.’’

Derek died at 28. Then Garner began feeling ill with “what I thought was just a cold.” But he did not get better. He was hospitalized in February of 1982. On Valentine’s Day, doctors told him that he, too, had “GRID.”

“They also told me I would probably never make it out of the hospital alive. They told me I would not live to see my 20th birthday.”

For two weeks, doctors gave Garner massive amounts of antibiotics and he got better. Doctors at the time called it a miracle.

It took two decades before Garner learned what probably saved him: He has a gene anomaly called CCR5 Delta 32 that helps him fight HIV.

“If you ever hear of 20- and 30-year survivors, they almost all have this gene anomaly,’’ he says. “It does not prevent you from catching it. Most are people of European descent, whose families survived the Black Plague.”

After he left the hospital, Garner became an activist to raise awareness of HIV and AIDS.

In 1984, Garner met Brad, an HIV positive man who became his second partner. The couple became foster parents to a baby girl named Candace, who was born with HIV and fetal alcohol syndrome.

“They did not expect her to live more than a few months. We didn’t know how long we were going to live ourselves,” Garner said. “We went into the little nursery. Here’s this little girl all by herself in this little plastic incubator. No one was taking care of her. It brought back all the nightmares of these friends dying and me being in quarantine myself. We decided to take her home and feel as loved as any child could for whatever time she had.”

When Candace began to talk, she wasn’t able to say the word dad — it came out “Dab,” giving Garner his nickname.

Candace lived only to age 4, dying in August 1989. Three months later, Brad also died.

But from their deaths, a tradition was born. After Candace died, Garner gave all her toys to other sick children. They also got teddy bears, a gift he continues to give sick children today called “Teddy Bear Touchdown.”

“I do it in her memory,” he said.

Garner has had two bouts of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, once in Los Angeles and again when he moved back to Florida in 2000 to nurse his mother, who died three years later.

Garner, who lives on disability, moved to Wilton Manors in 2009. He has found love again, with a new partner who also lives with AIDS. They met a year ago at the Gay Men’s Health Summit in Fort Lauderdale. Garner devotes his well time to AIDS activism, working with the Broward County Health Department and other agencies to develop new HIV prevention programs.

“Dab has been living with the disease for 30 years and uses his experiences to educate and help others,” said Terry DeCarlo, a spokesman for the AIDS agency Broward House who has known him about seven years. “That is his legacy. He is not dying from it, he is living with it.”

Many thanks to Steve and the Miami Herald for sharing our story.

Until we meet again; here's wishing you health, hope, happiness and just enough.

big bear hug,

Daddy Dab