The Most Horrible Breakup Story EVER
Welcome to another day in my life. Today is Sunday and I hope you are having a beary safe and great weekend. It is another busy weekend for the Dab Bears and me.
Yesterday, I blogged about breakups and today I will blog about the worst breakup ever.
While breaking up can be freeing, it can also be awkward and tricky. (Let’s be honest, not every man can stay friends with his sexy exes like Justin Timberlake.) But no matter how messy the breakup, one thing’s for sure—you want to leave the relationship with all of your appendages—and teeth—intact. You may have read about this guy, whose jilted dentist ex-girlfriend pulled out all his teeth after he left her for another woman.
Turns out, the story was a hoax. (Go ahead men, let out a big sigh of relief.) But the story got us thinking: What’s the best way to break it off so your ex doesn’t want to seek revenge? Here’s how to ensure smooth sailing after the relationship reaches its end.
Don’t let it fizzle
Ready to end it? You might gradually stop responding to texts, be “busy” all the time, or run in the opposite direction when you see her walking down the street. She’ll eventually get the hint and move on—and you won’t even need to man up, right? Wrong.
Ignoring her won’t have the “out of sight, out of mind” effect that you hope. It’ll just make her analyze everything, which can lead to fear and anger. “She could assume the worst-case scenario,” says Patty Ann Tublin, Ph.D., a clinical psychology and relationship expert. (Examples of the thoughts coursing through her mind: Was I bad in bed? Did he cheat? Does he have another girlfriend? Wait, is he actually married with 4 kids? No, I bet he’s doing my sister.) If you don’t take charge, her imagination will.
You know she’s not the one and you’ve prepared a short speech to tell her as much. As you get ready to break the news to her, you remind yourself that you’re logical, strong, and steadfast. You’re a man. Guys like you go to war, for crying out loud.
Two hours later, both of you are sobbing on her couch. Suddenly, you’re retreating from your battle plan. (Maybe she is the one. Why not give it one more shot? After all, she really cares about you. And the sex is good.)
The trick is not to go into specifics and dwell on the minor, day-to-day things that went wrong, says Tublin. She may interpret them as fixable, says Tublin. “It says that she can change these things and the relationship might work next time.” We’re not saying to leave her in the dark, but focus on larger issues or how your feelings have changed. It may be harder in the heat of the moment, but it’s better in the long run.
Show her respect
This should be obvious, but breakup texts are off-limits. (If cell phones existed during Dante’s day, he would have designated a special circle in hell for people who typed, Rly sry :( U R great tho.) She deserves a face-to-face conversation.
Not all locations are created equal, so think ahead. Don’t take her out to dinner. Instead, sit across from each other at her kitchen table. It’s on her turf, so she can kick you out and still maintain her dignity. However, if you think a screaming match will occur, public is your best bet. Try a park or a coffee shop. “Social restraints ensure that the fights won’t escalate as much,” says Tublin. (It also means there will be witnesses, too. Just in case she decides to rip your teeth out after all.)
Hope you have a beary safe and great Sunday!
Until we meet again; here's wishing you health, hope, happiness and just enough.
big bear hug,