September 24, 2013

September 24, 2013
10 Ways to Get Kicked Off a Flight

Welcome to another day in my life. Today is Tuesday and I hope you are having a beary safe and great week so far. It is another busy week for Dab the AIDS Bear and me as we get ready to leave for the Positive Living Conference.

Yesterday, I blogged about things that flight attendants wish they could say but can't. Today I am going to blog about 10 ways to get kicked off a flight.

We're all aware of the very reasonable Federal Aviation Administration no-nos that prohibit weapons, smoking and "interference" with airline personnel. But the airlines have their own rules, too. Some are less than obvious or a bit vague, and all are open to interpretation by and enforceable at the discretion of the crew. Let's count the many things that might get you banned from boarding or booted from a flight before takeoff:

1. Smelling like a locker room Buying a ticket contractually obligates you to refrain from boarding in "a malodorous condition." If you run out of time for a shower before your flight, at least take a sponge bath, just to be safe.

2. Bringing your germs onboard
If you appear seriously ill especially with a condition that seems contagious and can't produce a doctor's written permission to travel, you may not be allowed to fly.

3. Dressing inappropriately
Revealing clothing including baggy pants hanging south of the undershorts and T-shirts broadcasting lewd sayings or inflammatory political slogans have gotten passengers ousted.

4. Swearing like a longshoreman
Numerous conflicts during boarding that could have been resolved quickly ended instead with passengers being escorted off the plane when the fray escalated into a volley of foul epithets.

5. Showing up over-lubricated
A wee dram might relieve travel stress, but just appearing to be intoxicated is grounds for ejection. Even if you're well below the legal limit, be sure your conduct is unassailable when you have alcohol on your breath.

6. Public displays of affection
Thanks to crowded flights with cramped seats, very little goes unnoticed by your fellow passengers on an airplane. So you're better off saving any overtly enthusiastic displays of affection for your hotel room.

7. Raising a ruckus
Your grandson's tantrum might not be your fault, but if you can't settle him down while waiting for takeoff, it's the airline's prerogative to take you off the plane. And if you yourself are a noisemaker or worse, your behavior crosses the line from mildly assertive to rather aggressive you're gone.

8. Taking off your shoes
Well, OK, you can be shoeless on the plane though stinky feet might illicit complaints from those around you. But you need to keep your socks on. Barefoot passengers are technically verboten under most major U.S. airlines' regulations.

9. Holding up takeoff
Preflight announcements cover some of the misdeeds that can end your trip before it begins: refusing to turn off electronic toys, blocking emergency exits or not fastening seat belts.

10. Wild card behaviors
News reports of passengers who have been ousted include some head-scratchers, including two men who allegedly pressed their noses against a female stranger's neck to sniff her perfume. The upshot? Airlines have the final say on who gets kicked off, whether it's because of "the risk of harm or damage" or the "risk of offense or annoyance."

Hope these tips help you keep from ever being kicked off a flight and you have a beary safe and great Tuesday!

Until we meet again; here's wishing you health, hope, happiness and just enough.

big bear hug,

Daddy Dab